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of Romantic Restraint
Mail will be rotated off, but the articles will be posted in other areas of the site for members with links given either here or in Sir Red's Map Room. All mail recieved will be recieved with the understanding that it may be posted unless you request otherwise. Please use an alias in your signature (important) in case i forget to hide it for you. This is designed for the subs to use, but if a Dom wants to write, it will be recieved with open arms, as it should be.
Subject: FW: Girlfriend's Day
Happy Girlfriend's Day!
We need an Annual Girlfriends Day!
(If you get this twice, then you have more than one girlfriend. Be happy! )
Good times are even better when they're shared.
A good long talk can cure almost anything.
Everyone needs someone with whom to share their secrets.
Listening is just as important as talking.
An understanding friend is better than a therapist; And cheaper too!
Laughter makes the world a happier place.
Friends are like wine; they get better with age.
Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on.
Great minds think alike, especially when they are female!
When it comes to "bonding," females do it better.
YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD FOR SLUMBER PARTIES!!!!
It's important to make time to do "girl things."
Calories don't count when you are having lunch with your girlfriends.
GEMS MAY BE PRECIOUS, BUT FRIENDSHIP IS PRICELESS!!!!!
Well that was a nice chain letter, thanks. It made me feel good.
Greetings fellow sub -t-!
> Hi, Shevette,
> I've read so much about you from your webpage, I feel
> like I know you. I'm not kidding myself. I DON'T
> really know you.
Sometimes i wonder if I really know me! giggle
That's why i started the site - to explore and better understand myself. A lot has happened since then. One of my big surprises is how many people feel like i do. Sure there's a lot of different slants on things, but we are growing together in the bondage community and learning to accept what the next person does.
i've read your entire letter so i'm going to comment on something here before i forget my thought. You sound like you may be repressing yourself some because you are a male sub - don't! Please. My husband is a sub at heart too.
We are really talking relationships here. When you find someone who accepts you for who you are, they will accpt the sub needs that you have too. Perhaps they will have needs you haven't thought of too.
Life's not simple - if it was it'd get boring fast.
i really really believe that a man, all men, were meant to be over all women, me. It's not like that, i know. i have that idea in the back of my mind and the odds of it going away are about the same as the odds of my love of bondage going away - read that to mean zip (none). i have to deal with that when Rob asks me for an event where i tie him up instead of the other way around. It's not natural for me to want to tie him up, but when he asks for it i go ahead and do it - and i don't do it with the idea of just doing something that he has asked me to do. i do it with the idea of having some fun too!
i never ever thought a sub/sub relationship could possibly work! It does though! Part of the fun i enjoy when he asks me to tie him up is i get a chance to make up for some of the things he's done to me that maybe weren't so great. i let him feel what it's like to be lead around on a leash with him wearing leg irons and i'm going so fast that he doesn't know if he can keep up or if he's going to fall, and the leg irons bite his ankles with every step because he's trying to take just as big a step as he can to try to keep up...
No, i don't get mean or hurt him or even make him feel guilty about it. He knows i'm doing to him what he's done to me. There is a way to do this and have it be good, to show him that when it's my turn on the leash to slow down a bit. This sounds like this happened and i got upset. It happend, and i could have gotten upset, but he made up for it and made me happy, so i show him that side of it too and make him happy. It's a good system of checks and balances
i talked about the negative. Now let me mention the positive. i look back on some of the things he's done to me that felt really great and figure out how to do something like that for him - and make sure it feels really great for him too.
There are a lot of times when i play the top that i get into the role good enough that i think sometimes (often) i get the same sort of satifaction being over him that he seems to get out of being over me - that's the goal anyway.
Lemme get back to your letter. i want you to have your say, and at the same time i want to tell you that whatever your fantasies or desires are, to not repress yourself over them. When i first noticed bondage that's what i did, and it was maybe the worst thing that i've ever done to myself in my life. If you like being the sub, then find someone to share that with. It's not easy, but golly is it ever worth it!
> Anyway, I've enjoyed your adventures,
> and I can't help wondering what's happened to you.
> I haven't noticed anything new on the page
> (or did I miss it). I'm sort of compelled by your life's story.
i think my life story is a lot like everyone's. There's some kind of common thread among us bondage folk, - and i'll tell you a secret - i really believe that all of us human beings are bondage folk! Some of us don't know it, some are ashamed to admit to it, some don't want to know. The fact of the matter is 50% of us have bondage fantasies! No! Wait! i think the numbers went like 90% of us think about it and 50% do it at one time or another... i think that's right - from my observations it is anyway.
i'm really getting wound up here, aren't i? giggle
You just seem like a real nice man...
What's happened to me? Red's Realm! Most... er, i mean, all my new stuff is being posted on www.reds-realm.net. Sir Red had the #1 bondage site last year. It was free, then abductor decided everyone needed to be a member (read that to mean, pay $2.98 a month or something), so Sir Red packed up his bags and me and went to the address above (where he has to do the membership thing for $5 a month) - but all is not lost!
If you are like me, you don't believe in pay sites. So what you can do is visit his site when something is first posted and it's free then. After it's been up for about two weeks, then it goes into the members-only area.
Hopefully he will post my stuff in the free zone, i hope so. Every pay site should support a large free section, i think. i hope.
So if you like things shevette, go to www.reds-realm.net, and that's where you will find me most of the time. i do plan to use the old site to post pics, and i want to organize it so it's easier to get around in - there are almost 1000 pages there and tens of thousands of pics. i'd like to think that will always be up and availble to promote bondage (which is my passion.)
> I find myself checking back periodically
> to see what's new.
> I can't order you to update
> (though I would if I could get away it),
> mostly because I'm on the subbie side myself.
Visit with Sir Red... giggle
i'm always looking for new material, and this letter is getting rather full so i hope you don't mind if i make a page out of this - with your name maimed. i know how important it is to be somewhat anonymous on the net.
> It's very difficult, more so I think,
> being submissive as a man.
i supose that it is. i know it's hard to think of a man as a sub, but it is accepted more and more everyday. Remember, to be accepted all you must do is accept in return...
*carving that one in granete, marble, and ivory too*
> Men will pretty much do anything for a beautiful woman,
> just to be with her,
> and if tying her up is part of it, so much the better.
i won't argue with that, it sounds great!
> But women....well,
> women mostly charge for such services. lol
i know about that. i was born at night, but not last night.
Everyday women will Top a man though, even me from time to time. i really don't believe men ought to go out and pay, no slur to the world's oldest profession, but i don't think people should pay for sex - it's bad for the person paying and i really don't think it's good for the person doing the services.
I still advise you to seek out women who you like, who would be good to form a relationship with, and act out your fantasies - you'd be surprised (i'm 100% sure) at how may women would either be willing to do it or have being the top as their fantasy.
Can you live the life-style? Yes, but if you are like me, you have to realize that you have to 'normalize' it. That means not exposing too much of it to the public. You don't expose other sexual matters in public, so why expect to reveal all the details of being a sub in public?
Gotta laugh for a second about something that happened this morning... i was at the website Sir Red is currently featuring and they were talking about being tied to a tree and having people who were walking their dogs wander by unexpectadly. i signed up to be tied to that tree next! LOL And i'm serious about it!
In bondage we all repress to one degree or another, and that makes us want to do some public bondage just to show we are not ashamed of who we are. Would i allow myself to be tied to that tree? In a heartbeat! But it would be what i call 'normalized'. That is; i would be 100% dressed, and from outward appearances there would be nothing sexual about it - and that would satify me.
Living the life style of a sub can be normalized too. i frequently wear a collar in public - with a lock. i don't act all subbie-fied or like i'm in heat though, and that's fine by me. i am just sick of hiding who i am, i refuse to do that any more. i don't flaunt being a sub, but i will not be shamed by it.
i have had occasions where someone has picked me out of a crowd and identified me as a sub and tried to put me down and shame me for it. Do you know what happens if i stand up for myself and what i believe in? The person either backs down or someone will step up and put my accuser down for me! It's true! Of course when i stand up for myself i do normalize what i say. i say, "Yes, i like bedroom tie-up games!" i do not say, "Sure i like it when i get tied up, have my clothes torn off of me, and my husband jumps my bones!" or something like that. One can talk bondage in public as long, as one is sure not to bring in the sexual aspects of it, and that's okay. i don't like to dicuss having sexual relationships in public anyway. If some one asks if i've had oral sex i'll tell them yes. If someone asks if i perform oral sex on my husband i'll tell them that it's none of their bees wax! As long as i speak in general terms then i am okay. i'm comfortable, and so is the person that i'm talking to. It's only when we get personal that we get into trouble.
> And there's the idea that men carry,
> that somehow it's a shameful thing
> to be less than in control.
> Whew! Try carrying that around all day.
And i am probably one of the ones who continues that myth. Let's talk about it for a sec.
i know that in the back of my mind i want the guy to be the decesion-maker, the one reasponsable for the actions that we make. That's in my mind. i don't know if i can control that. i know it's got to be wrong though. i guess it's convention to think of it like that somehow. Socally acceptable, maybe even it's socally desirable. One can even find it in the Bible!
Is it logical to assume (guess) that if there are women like me who think the guy is in charge (about some things) so it only falls that there are women who think they should be in charge, but that brings us to a point: ALL women (and men, i would think) think they themselves should be in charge - of, at least, some things. My husband can decide for me how i should wear my hair if he wants, but only i can decide how to put it up that way.
Rob wants me to wear my hair long (i think all men want their wifes to have long hair), but i just recently got my hair cut off way short. While Rob wanted it long, he realized that it is summer and hot and that it took me a long time to wash my hair when it was long and that i wanted a change. As a good provider and caretaker he finally did agree to letting me cut it off some.
i had to decide that i wanted it. He had to decide that he would allow it. Sometimes having the first word on something is about the same as having the last word - in a 'normalized' world. In some relationships he could have said "No!" the first time, and that would have been that. i would never cut my hair without his blessing. But he asked, "Why?" He listened. He let me explain. And that's why i really want him to be in "charge." Do i think that men should be in charge if all they are willing to do is make snap decisions without hearing my side of things? In a word, No!
For me it is better to hand over the last word on things, for others it is better when they have the last word - be they woman or man.
So look, go find that woman who is right for you!
> Well, I hope things are well with you,
> and if you're in the mood to do some drawing or updating,
> I'll just about kill myself to get to the page and see it.
Do me a favor and normalize that just a bit. Almost injure yourself to get to www.reds-realm.net, ok?
> Also, I did try several times to sign up for the
> newsletter, but I got the "I Accept" part and never
> got any further. I hit accept, the page loads again,
> I accept again, and so on and so on.
LOL! Maybe that's why it shows membership at over 450 people! i have just sent out the first messages in a long long time. If you get them you know you are in, if not let me know, and i will try to fix the error. If you get many many copies then delete yourself the appropriate number of times so that you only get one copy of everything.
Is your letter next?
Just write... giggle
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