Episode 716 - The Room of TERROR

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Episode 716 - The Room of TERROR
by Jesterr
Posted: April 29, 2008

"Ko’Vadis, Warrior of Gor entered the room. All eyes were drawn to his powerful body. The light was reflected from the twin swords he carried on his back. But no light came from his eyes. Few had the courage to look into their inky depths. They were too hard, had seen too much pain. The pain of Life on Gor."

"Do you always walk into a room saying that?" asked the man behind the table.

"Well... yeah, doesn’t everybody?"

"What skills do you offer?"

"I am the silent death. I can strike down my enemies without warning and without mercy. I am expert in the use of my twin swords. The bow and knife are also my tools of choice. I have never failed an assignment."

The man looked up from the paper he was reading. "That is all very well, but I run a family restaurant. What skills do you have for that?"

"Oh, and I scrub toilets!"

The man put down the paper. "Why did you leave your last job?"

"I am a creature of the night. I need the darkness as my ally. I need to stalk evil in its lair. To fight darkness, I must become one with it."

"I talked to the manager at your last place of employment. He said you continually bound female customers to posts."

"Wasn’t that part of my job?"

"No."

"That explains the poor tips."

"Ko’Vadis, what exactly..."

"I prefer ‘Ko’Vadis, Warrior of Gor'."

"Pardon me?" asked the manager.

"I prefer to be called... wait... I got an idea... how about Ko’Vadis, Warrior Prince?"

"Was your father a king?"

"No, he sells real estate."

The manager sighed. "Why don’t you work for him?"

"Oh I did, for a while," Ko’Vadis, Warrior Prince, confessed.

"What happened?"

"Everything was cool, until I went to this one house. It had such great posts in it. I had to bind her to one of them."

"Her? Who was she?"

"Ummmmmm, I didn’t ask. But she sure smelled good."

"Ko’Vadis..."

"The Warrior Prince!"

"I don’t think you fully realize what you have done. In any other land, your actions would have landed you in jail. You have stalked women, imprisoned them, held them against their will and done God knows what to them. If Gor was at all civilized. If this society had even the slightest social conscience, you would spend the rest of your days behind bars."

The manager paused, noticing the glazed expression in Ko’Vadis’ eyes.

The man waved his hand in front of Ko’Vadis’ face. Nothing.

"Ko’Vadis?"

Nothing.

"Warrior Prince?"

The eyes cleared. "Yeah, that sounds so good!"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah....wow."

"And?"

"You really know a lot of big words!"

With a sigh, the manager sat behind his table. "Ko’Vadis... Warrior Prince. You feel by being male you are naturally superior to women."

"Yeah!"

"And that as a Warrior Prince, you have abilities beyond those of mere men."

"It shows, huh?"

"Women are nothing more than pets, aren’t they?" the manager asked.

"Of course!" Ko’Vadis replied.

"And they should expect to be bound."

"Oh yeah."

"They should serve you. Fulfill your every fantasy."

"Wow, I can see why you got your job. You really know it all!"

"We do not deserve someone like you."

"But I really need a job! What should I do?"

"With your qualifications, you would be perfect for politics."

"Would I have to clean toilets?"

"I doubt it."

"Great! I’m there!"

The manager smiled. Problem solved. Unless of course he got elected.

"Would you please ask Mrs. Havershaw to send in the next applicant?"

"Umm, I’ll do it for her. No problem."

The manager was puzzled. "Why can’t Mrs... what did you do, Ko’Vadis?"

"I couldn’t help it! There was this great post!"

"Post? That’s a coat rack!"

"She’s wearing silks!"

"Tweed!"

"And she was ripe and willing."

"She’s a Grandmother!!!!!"

Ko’Vadis spoke into the waiting room. "C’mon in, man."

"Keeping to the shadows, Ko’Secant, Assassin of Gor, slipped silently into the room. No one was aware of his stealthy entrance. To their eyes, he simply appeared before them. Had he wanted their deaths, they would have long since departed from life."

"You any relation to Ko’Sign?"

"He’s my brother. He knows all the angles."

"Math joke!" They both cried.

The manager put his head on the table. "All I am trying to do is hire a new dishwasher."

"No more toilets! Awwwwwwww riggggggght!!"

THE END

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